Compliments Every Woman Hears That Are Actually Insults


You Don’t Need Makeup!

Wear no makeup, people think you’re sick. Wear “natural” makeup, and people will feed you this line over and over. Have these people considered maybe women wear makeup because they like it, and no other reason?

You look so young.

What’s the goal, here. To be the only person in a group who has their ID checked? To be babyfaced at 40? This never means “you look healthy and youthful,” it means “you remind me of when I was younger and still had hopes for my future and I like that.”

Why do you need to exercise? You’re so skinny already!

Fitness is for health, and health is not determined by size. This isn’t a compliment, it’s just a bundle of poor assumptions.

You’re so lucky to have people compliment you on the street all the time. I wish men could be praised like women are!

For every good-natured cat-call you see, there are three slimy men behind them that want to cause women harm. There’s nothing wrong with wanting the world to be a more loving and appreciative place, but ignoring all the negative side effects of catcalling isn’t the way to do that.

You’re so skinny! What’s your secret?

Maybe your secret is that you’re naturally small, or that you are extremely anxious and unhealthy after your last breakup, or you are recovering from an eating disorder. Even if someone did have a “secret” to keep their weight down, this question is prioritizing appearance over health, and it’s bad for people in general.

(Looking at photos) Wow, you must have a really great camera!

Or… you’re a really great photographer? There is more to taking great pictures than just owning a camera, and this kind of comment really discredits the people that are able to accomplish that.

You could have any guy you want, it’s such a waste that you’re a lesbian.

A “waste” is throwing away an entire sandwich because you asked for no mustard and they put it on anyway. Sexual orientation does not devalue you as a person, and being attractive to a gender that you’re not romantically interested isn’t really a compliment to begin with.

You look like you lost weight!

I’m just going to set some ground rules, here: any comment about weight is a bad one. Weight is directly related to your physical and mental health, not your aesthetics, and how you appear to people based on how much flesh is on your body is not something that should ever concern anyone. You don’t know who you’re going to insult with comments like these, so they’re better off left unsaid.


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