The Hoarder is your typical fashionista. Everything she owns is totally unique, and she almost never wears the same outfit twice. It’s only when you’re roommates that you realize: she probably never wears clothes more than once, because she can’t find them after she takes them off. The hoarder is incredibly disorganized and leaves her stuff everywhere, but somehow even when she’s surrounded by mountains of dirty clothes she still keeps coming home with new stuff.
The hoarder is a great person to shop with, and will always loan you the cutest outfits when you go out together. But roommate material? Not so much.
The Neat Freak
After living in a constant sty, you’re ready to find a roommate that tidies up. Unfortunately, this roommate takes cleaning to a whole new level. The Neat Freak has an incredibly organized life, from her jobs to her relationships, and takes pleasure in keeping things clean. However, she also goes nuts when things get messy. You vacuum and mop and even wash the walls to try and make the Neat Freak happy, but somehow it’s never enough. She’ll always be a Neat Freak, and you’ll always look like a Hoarder in comparison.
The Neat Freak is a great person to consult for professional advice, but she’s a terrible person to live with. It’s better to be a visitor at this lady’s pristine home than a resident.
You’re at a party talking with this girl about how disappointed you’ve been with your roommates, and she totally agrees. If you guys lived together, there would be no stupid drama and you would just hang out and have fun together, like, all the time. Right?
Wrong. As soon as you move in with the Psycho, you learn her roommate issues weren’t about cleanliness. You’re not sure why her ex-roommates hate her, but it might be because she doesn’t seem to understand that the food in the fridge is yours. Or because your medication keeps going missing. Or how her on-again-off-again boyfriend keeps loudly breaking up with her in the middle of the night, and then loudly hooking up with her after. Or because of that one time, when you found her in the bathroom, using your toothbrush…. that was just weird.
There’s no explaining why the Psycho became the nightmare that she is. The only thing you can do is kick her out of your life, and hope her name isn’t on the lease.
The One Night Stand
No more weird roommates. You’re done. It’s time to get serious about this roommate thing, and actually interview people and set boundaries. This girl seems so perfect. You love the same music, clean the same way, and she even replaces the toilet paper when you run out without you having to ask. She’s the best!
Well, during the day, that is. The one night stand is the perfect roommate… until nighttime, when the entire town seems to come through her door. You’re not upset that the One Night Stand is getting some. In fact, you’re proud of her. That lady can slay down. You just wish that she didn’t have to get it so loud… or so often.
You and the One Night Stand are still great friends, and she totally took your online dating profile to the next level. But you feel a lot better about being single without her around.
The Perfect Roommate
You’ve undergone all the trials and tribulations of roommate hell, but you’ve finally made it. The Perfect Roommate has seen it all, and she totally gets you. You cry on each other, host killer parties, and have solid boundaries without any weird tension. One time, you even ate the last ice cream sandwich and left the box in the freezer… and she was totally cool with it. Sometimes you fight, and you still have your issues, but you and The Perfect Roommate always work it out.
Maybe she’s not your roommate for life, and there’s still time for someone better to come along. But for now, you have the perfect roommate. And as long as you’re coming home to your best friend, that’s all that matters.